


My Eyes Don't Shed Tears

by unholyminter (oneswhonever)



Category: The Ultimate Sidemen
Genre: Alternate Universe, Asexuality, Light Angst, Light-Hearted, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Roommates, it serves no purpose is2g, what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 07:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11249397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneswhonever/pseuds/unholyminter
Summary: Simon pines uselessly over Josh, his total opposite, but he wouldn't have it any other way.





	My Eyes Don't Shed Tears

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sleepystar123](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepystar123/gifts).



> I can't stop gifting works to sleepystar123 because she is my best friend in the world - I love her to pieces and you absolutely should as well!
> 
> Plus I am an avid believer that Minizerk is the cure to all ailments in this life.
> 
> Also I don't actually know what the fuck this is? Enjoy it for whatever purpose it serves?

Finding the person who completes every aspect of your being is a rarity, Simon thought. 

He thought that out of the billions of people that live on the planet, sometimes you're not destined to find your soulmate. At twenty-three years old (and not getting any younger), he thought that his soulmate never even existed. 

Or maybe he does exist. It's just that - Simon isn't _his_  soulmate. Can they even  _be_ soulmates, then? Wouldn't it cancel out?

"You're so young, Simon," Ethan will tell him, like it's just the simplest thing in the world. Knowing Simon's luck, his  _true_ soulmate could be a carbon copy of Ethan Payne - in which case, he doesn't want him. Physically and mentally, Ethan is the very opposite of what Simon wants in a partner - the very opposite to the ideal man in his life. "You've got bloody years."

Of course, Ethan has the audacity to say this with his arm wrapped around his handsome, young fiancee. Harry Lewis is his very unlikely match. He's actually a good person, and probably one of the best looking people Simon has ever met. The couple, he thinks, is truly an enigma. Yet, somehow, they find complete and total happiness within one another.

And that's not fair.

 

***

 

Simon moved out when Harry moved in with Ethan.

His best friend had assured him that he could stay if he wanted to; that they wouldn't be any sort of disruption to him. Simon knew that, but he also knew the envy that he felt when he saw Harry and Ethan making out in the living room, or when he saw Harry with blossomed hickeys over every square inch of his skin. Not envious of Harry ( _god no_ ), but envious of what they had, in general.

He found his roommate of off Craigslist, of all places. Ethan said that was a surefire way to get himself murdered and, well,  _good riddance._

Unfortunately, Simon wasn't murdered. Even  _more_ unfortunately, his roommate was the most delicious man he had ever met in his life. Seriously.

Josh Bradley was hardly shorter than him - their height difference was an inch at most. Tall brunettes were absolutely Simon's tastes, and when they had blue eyes? Even better. Physically, he was everything Simon could ever want in a partner. To his surprise, even his personality checked all boxes. They both worked graveyard shifts at their respective jobs, meaning that, while they were home, they could easily lounge around on the sofa and eat pizza - play video games and watch horror movies, shoulders touching.

(Plus, Josh totally dug the leather sectional, meaning he had good taste in furniture. Simon was envisioning their future home from the day they met).

 

***

 

"You're in over your head," said Ethan, taking a sip of brandy straight from the bottle. The smell made Simon sick. "The kid probably isn't even gay. Looks like a straight fucking edge to me."

Simon retorted, "I don't recall ever asking you. I picked out Harry, so clearly my gaydar hasn't failed me yet."

"We met in a fucking gay bar!" Harry exclaimed, already tipsy. Simon always happened to pick the worst times to come and visit his friends. "Listen. You're not gonna know if he's gay or not until you ask him. Grow some balls already, Si. And drink this. It'll take that edge right off."

He tried to force the bottle in Simon's face, and Simon had half the mind to snatch it and throw it at him. Harry wasn't a good friend when he was drunk - and the worse off he was, the more he took on Ethan's personality, which wasn't needed at all. That probably explained why their first date was spent getting drunk over dinner.

"Get that shit out of my face," he murmured, trying to keep the bitterness from seeping into his voice. No matter how ticked he got when talking to Harry, he very well couldn't snap at him - unless he  _wanted_ Ethan to yell at him, which was an unpleasant occurrence. "You can't just ask some guy if he's gay. What if he gets offended?"

"Well, then his masculinity is fragile, and you don't even _want_ him as your boyfriend."

 

***

 

"Not gay," Josh muttered. Everyone was drinking today for some reason - Simon came back to the apartment with the smell of moscato clinging in the air. When Josh offered him a glass, he accepted. This was something he could easily handle, and he'd probably need it for the upcoming discussion. "At least, I don't think so. I don't see the appeal in doing... _that_ with a guy."

Simon's eyebrows furrowed. "What? Having sex, you mean."

"Yeah. I don't think I like sex at all, anyways. I think I'm asexual. Dunno," he paused, and looked at Simon through dark eyelashes. "Why do you ask? Are  _you_ gay?"

"Mmm," Simon hummed, feeling a layer of ice coat his stomach. Nausea rumbled in his chest. "Yeah. I've never done anything, though. Just because you're asexual...you would never date a guy or anything? Sans sex?"

"I've never considered it until now. But probably not. It's...I can't imagine myself ever doing it? I don't know. I'm fine with gay people and all that, that's good by me, but I don't see the appeal, I guess."

Simon frowned. 

 

***

 

Josh wasn't built for the gods or anything, but his body was absolutely nothing to complain about.

When he came waltzing into the living room, shirtless with a towel wrapped around his waist loosely - Simon nearly lost his mind. His hipbones, his chest, his everything...it was glorious. Simon was a virgin, who never was in a rush to have sex, but seeing Josh's body made him beg to differ. And the fact that the brunette was so casual, so confident, made things even worse. 

"Damn," said Harry, who was currently occupying Simon's couch. Ethan, drunk out of his mind, was asleep beside him. "You look nice, Bradley."

Simon swatted Harry's arm, hard, but Josh just laughed - a drunken chuckle, at that. "Hey, thanks man. Don't say that around that boyfriend of yours, though."

He retreated back into his room after grabbing a drink from the kitchen, still chuckling to himself, and Simon admired his shoulder blades as he walked away. Josh wasn't toned or anything, but he had all the right equipment in all the right places. Simon knew that if he could be with anyone in the world, it would be with Josh. Maybe it was all just physical attraction.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and turned to his drunken friend. "Josh isn't gay, y'know."

"I don't care," Harry replied easily. "I would still suck his dick."

_"Harry!"_

 

***

 

"Josh, do you believe in soulmates?"

Josh snorted loudly, and heat rose to Simon's cheeks instantly - feeling stupid for having asked. The brunette elaborated on his noise, "I don't. If we had soulmates, why would we waste all of our time dating other people? Wouldn't you just want to skip right to the end and get married to your soulmate?"

"I suppose," Simon murmured, wiping sweat off his fringe. He didn't know why they were laying in the yard, when they had air conditioning inside, literally five feet away. With that being said, however, the night sky was gorgeous. And of course, so was Josh. It had been raining the past four days, and Simon wanted to enjoy a clear summer night. Alcohol made it all so hazy. He was never one to drink before he met Josh. "Do you ever wanna get married?"

"Nope," was the brunette's easy answer, and Simon's chest tightened further. "I don't see the point. If you're committed to one person, do you really need some stupid ceremony and a piece of paper to solidify it?"

"It's a celebration of love," Simon argued, and he could practically hear Josh's eye roll. "What? Don't tell me you don't believe in _love_ of all damn things, too."

"...I do. It's just that, why bother, I guess? We're so young and...wouldn't you rather, I dunno, experience your life? Go out and do shit with your friends, travel and shit? Why be tied down to someone? A relationship is essentially just an obligation to someone."

"I want a relationship," Simon replied, feeling numb. "I'm in love. And, why is it that you can't share all the events in your life with the person that you love? If your relationship is such an obligation, evidently it's not a healthy one. That's not the case with all of them, though. You don't think anyone is worth the chance?"

"Not really. I'd rather have really strong friendships. Like ours."

Simon wished he didn't have to find his soulmate in such a complete, utter moron.

Then again - are you really soulmates if your feelings aren't reciprocated? 

 


End file.
